I'd Die For You
by Pens in potatoes
Summary: Song-fic.In Pauls POV. He throws rocks at Suzes window, desperatly needing to talk to her. He talks about his feelings and how he needs to talk to Suze. His true feelings and his true character is revealed up until and after someone comes to end his waiti


****

Disclaimer: I do not own the Mediator series nor do I own the lyrics to "I'd die for you."

Mediator series written by: Meg Cabot

"I'd Die For You" written by: Jon Bon Jovi

I love this song! And I started really reading and taking apart the lyrics to the song and thought it would go good with Paul. Lets see!

__

Paul's POV

Standing outside of her house, I stand, staring up at her dark window. I think about my life, before I met Suze. It wasn't the same. Nothing would be the same if she wasn't present in this life. I had been some "Hot guy" who no girl really cared the name of. I would be followed and eyed by almost every girl at my school. Hell, when I came to the mission it was the same deal. Every girl would gawk at me.

But not her.

__

If you could see inside my heart  
Then you would understand  
I'd never mean to hurt you  
Baby I'm not that kind of man

She knew of my secret. My "gift". I laughed to myself. What a gift it was. It was something that could bring me close to Suze, yet tear me farther away. I used it as an excuse. I kept telling myself that she wanted to see me. That she really enjoyed the time we spent together.

Lying doesn't work when you're doing it to yourself.

__

I might not say I'm sorry  
Yeah, I might talk rough sometimes  
And I might forget the little things  
Or keep you hanging on the line

Walking closer to the house, I rested my head in my hands. Hands that could touch both the living and the dead. Only, no one could know that. Not just anyone. People who were like me. People with the same "gift".

****

Suze…

I wanted to talk to her. I needed to. I had to do something. I threatened her precious cowboy and now she is even more afraid of me. I don't understand her fear towards me. What does she have to fear?

****

You taking advantage of her. Messing with her mind. Making her believe things she feels when she doesn't…

In a world that don't know Romeo and Juliet  
Boy meets girl and promises we can't forget  
We are cast from Eden's gate with no regrets  
Into the fire we cry

She calls me Satan. Actually the "Spawn of Satan." Why does she think that of me? I wont do anything to hurt her. She knows that. She knows that, right?

****

Oh, God, Suze…I would never hurt you. Why do you think something so horrible of me?

"You actually think I would hurt you." I laughed to myself and rammed my fist into the tree I leaned on.

__

I'd die for you  
I'd cry for you  
I'd do anything  
I'd lie for you  
You know it's true  
Baby I'd die for you  
I'd die for you  
I'd cry for you  
If it came right down to me and you  
You know it's true, Baby I'd die for you

I couldn't think clearly. She thought that. She thought that of me. I cant believe it…I would _die _for Suze. I would never do that for anyone else. Well, I would for Jack. But he is blood. My brother.

__

I might not be a savior  
And I'll never be a king  
I might not send you roses  
Or buy you diamond rings

I will never be her precious _Jesse_. I'll never be like him. I'm not…dead like he is. He cant give her a thing. And still, she feels for him. Love, care, everything. Hell, I don't even have friendship with Suze. I don't know what I am. Just a person who annoys her.

__

But if I could see inside you  
Maybe I'd know just who we are  
'Cause our love is like a hunger  
Without it we would starve

How could I get her to understand, when she thought I was a monster? How, could I make her believe I wasn't? I had to talk to her. That's why I was there. Standing outside of her house, close to midnight, hoping she would be awake when I threw rocks up at her window.

__

In a world that don't know Romeo and Juliet  
Boy meets girl and promises we can't forget  
We are cast from Eden's gate with no regrets  
Into the fire we cry

Trying to stop the negative thoughts from clouding my mind, I did what I set out to do. I picked up a small rocked and threw it up at her window.

No response.

I tried again.

Still nothing.

Was she truly sleeping? Or was she trying to avoid me? But, how would she know is was me? Well, I was the only one who would really come out and do this, I guess. But, she wouldn't know that for sure.

My heart sped up in relief as a light came on in her room.

What if it was her mom? It wouldn't look good with me standing outside this late, throwing rocks up at Suzes window. But, I just had a feeling it wasn't her. I knew it wasn't her. Suze was awake. And in a minute we would talk.

I was about to call up to her, when I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. Turning around, I came face to face with De Silva. He looked angry, the scar on his eyebrow glowing madly white.

What was he doing here?

"Slater." He growled through gritted teeth.

Hey! What did I do, huh? I didn't do anything to Rico and now he's all hot and bothered. Unless…

"I need to talk to Suze." I said. I didn't want a problem right now. I had to talk to Suze. She was my main priority right now. I couldn't let my hatred for the dead guy get in the way of that right now. This was too important.

"Susannah," He corrected, "is sleeping. You will have to talk to her later."

This figured. But, Suze was a night owl. I knew she was up. I bet she sent down her precious Jesse to get me to go away. But this wasn't going to work Suze. I had to talk to her. My mind was set on it. And until I did talk to her, I wouldn't be able to rest.

"I cant do later," I said, moving his ghostly hand off of my shoulder, looking at it in disgust. "I need to speak with her now. It's very important."

"Well then I suggest it wait till a more suitable hour, when Susannah is conscious and her parents are so as well."

I huffed. I had to work at this. He didn't seem like he was going to give up any time soon. I knew he wasn't. And I wasn't either. I needed to speak with Suze so badly my skin started to hum. Sweat began to bubble up at my brow.

I was frustrated.

I was angry.

I was determined.

Nothing De Silva did was going to stop me. Nothing. I had to try. I had to talk to her.

"Look, De Silva, I really need to speak with, Suze. It's very important. Just give me five minutes-"

"I will give you those five minutes to leave this yard and go back to your own."

I felt the ground start to tremble under my feet. He wanted to fight. He wanted a brawl like he used to get in the past. Well, it wasn't in my plan, but hell, I was up for anything.

Stepping forward, I took a deep breath and looked Rico in the eye. We were almost the same height. He seemed to be an inch or two taller than me, but we were close enough.

He looked at me with a questioning glare. He hated me. I knew it. He hated everything about my being and yet he still let me come around. Well, he didn't necessary "let me". Suze played a major part in this. She wouldn't let him do anything to me. I'm not fully sure why. But I do have a feeling it's because she has feelings for me and just wont admit it to me or herself.

"Please," I pleaded. I couldn't believe I was being reduced to begging. And to a dead cowboy. How pathetic is that?

He looked like he was considering it. And I almost thought he would say ok. But I was proved wrong a minute later when he said, "No, I cannot allow it."

Then I got mad. Extremely. Like pissed.

"Look, _Jesse_, Just because youre dead and you can peak in at her whenever you want and kiss her when she isn't paying attention, does not mean you have control over her." All of that was said through gritted teeth.

This was seriously ticking me off. I was like a bomb. Sooner of later, I was going to go off.

"So I will ask you this again," I sucked in a breath, trying to keep my cool. "please let me go and see, Suze."

"No," He said simply.

Wrong answer.

Charging at him, I planted my fist into his face and brought my arm back for another hit when I De Silva brought his arm back and hit me square in the jaw. Falling back, a line of curse words fell from my bleeding lips, as I staggered back to Rico and let him have it again. I smiled, hearing his nose crack and break under my fist. I knew it would be put back into place. But I wanted to relish in the fact that I had caused some harm. Even if it was just temporary.

He came at me, fist raised. I grabbed it and swung my own. He ducked and kicked my shin. Falling to the ground in pain I waited for another strike. But there was none. I looked up, spitting the copper taste out of my mouth as more flooded in. He was looking down at me, in sympathy or in menace, I don't know.

Walking back towards the house he never looked back. I bowed my head to the ground and pushed myself up. Running at him, I bought my arm back ready to punch as hard and as many times as I could, just to knock him out for a couple minutes so I could get to Suze. Whirling around, Rico knocked me right in the forehead. I flew back, stumbling over my feet as he rammed his fist into my gut. I crumbled in pain, clutching my stomach, moaning.

"I told you, you could come back at a decent hour and talk to Susannah." Jesse said, standing over my shivering body. "But, you refused. I am sorry I had to go so low and fight you. But, you left me no choice."

I laughed to myself, spitting out more of the hot liquid in my mouth.

"Leave, Slater." He spoke, his voice slow and fluid. "Leave and do not come back."

I laughed again. "You cant keep me from seeing her."

"No, I cannot." He said, un-phased. "But I can keep you from coming around here. This is our home. I do not want you here. So leave."

"Suze doesn't want me to go." I whispered.

"That may be so." He was no longer looking at me. "But it does not appear to be that way as of now."

Lowering my forehead to the soil, I cursed under my breath. My head was throbbing. I could hardly think. Hell, what was my name?

"You can see yourself out." He said, and dematerialized.

Probably back up to her room. I was hurt. She must have sent him down here. She wasn't asleep. I knew she was awake. I could feel it. She was up there talking to him. And probably sucking on his lips and swallowing his dead tongue. I was disgusted just thinking about it.

Turning my head into the leaves, I pushed myself up off the ground, slowly. Something was broken. I could feel it. I could feel the bones moving and clinking together when they weren't supposed to.

But I didn't care. I could hear her thoughts. See her expression, as she talked to that…Bastard!

**__**

I cant believe him. After what he has done. He has the mind to come around here and ask to talk to me. What a numbskull. He really thinks he's something. God, he really has changed.

I laughed again at that. She didn't know how much I had changed. How much I had changed in my life so I could just be around her. I didn't move in with grandpa Slater just because I wanted to torture her or to get in her pants. I didn't leave my school, friends and family in Seattle just because I wanted to stalk and haunt her at every minute. I left _everything _behind for her. She didn't ask for any of that, and I know that. I wanted to do it. I wanted to be close to her. Get to know her. Maybe go out on dates.

I smacked the palm of my hand on my forehead. I was stupid to think that she would have the same feelings I have for her. I was so bigheaded I thought she would just fall into my arms, just like every other girl who had. But then again, they were nothing like Suze. Suze wasn't a trashy, sluttish, whorish girl like the rest of them. She didn't follow me around because of my looks or the money in my wallet. She didn't expect anything. Nothing. She didn't even want any of it.

She was different. Different than the rest of them. And I wanted her more than anything. I wanted to give her everything. More than just a few dozen roses, shifter lessons, the occasional kiss…and my heart.

She didn't believe me. Well that was her fault. She was blinded by something she would never have. Never conceive of.

I walked to my car, carrying my broken hearts in my clenched fists. I sat in the drivers seat, rolling the plan I had conducted, around in my head. Would it have really worked? Would things have been different is De Silva hadn't been there and I had talked and finally gotten it through to her that I wasn't like what she had thought me to be?

I shook my head and started the car. It wouldn't have been different. She wouldn't have seen. She saw what she wanted. She would never _ever_ fucking see!

Pulling out of the driveway, I sped up the road, hitting around eighty-five miles per hour. The wind wiped my cheeks, drying the blood and dirt smeared there.

The wind was an interesting part of life. With all of its strength it always had to fight for something. It would force its way into things and fight till it won. It would never give up. It cooled things. Froze things. Dried and carried.

Lucky.

Speeding past the glass house I was now living in, I never looked over to it. I couldn't go "Home". I was too angry. I kept at my speed and looked over the cliff at the water.

"I cant believe you…" I whispered, as the wind carried away the salty tears flowing down my cheeks.

__

I'd die for you  
I'd cry for you  
I'd do anything  
I'd lie for you  
You know it's true  
Baby I'd die for you  
I'd die for you  
I'd cry for you  
If it came right down to me and you  
You know it's true, Baby I'd die for you

****

(PP: So…What do you think? It took me like a week to write this lol. I was flipping through Cds and I liked this one Bon Jovi song. So I thought to write a story around it. Even though…I guess it would work. Oh, well. I thought I was going to cry when writing this. I felt for Paul. God, I'm so depressing! Lol, please review and tell me what you think!


End file.
